t 27 years old Zodwa Shongwe is Human Relations Manager and Acting General Manager of Windybrow Theatre in Johannesburg. But perhaps a greater achievement is how she has reconciled her traditional African beliefs with her out lesbian identity. The way she sees it, there is no clash between them. She speaks about herself with a warm and open smile of self assurance.

"I am extremely traditional. I do a lot of ceremonies at home. It's a part of my spiritual life. I meet teachers within the tradition who are accepting of me as I am. I grew up with tradition and it's not something I want to leave behind".

She is thoroughly modern, however, when it comes to role play and lesbian identity. She has no time for sisters who feel compelled to emulate men. "They need to be male, behave like animals, behave larger than life. It's not about dress code it's about behaviour". For Zodwa this is significant because people who see this behaviour believe that that is what lesbians aspire to. Over emphasising "butch" does not make a lesbian. "There are people who are born butch. My granny is one, but she's not lesbian. It's about being a woman. I just want people to be themselves, accept that they are women. Be themselves and still be lesbians".

Soweto born, and currently a home-owner in Dieplkooof where she lives with her partner, Zodwa sees lesbian and gay life in the township changing. At a rapid pace. Attitudes are improving as people become more aware of human rights.

"Obviously there are still incidents. But people are more aware of giving others their own space". She also sees an increase in the urban trend of "mind your own business". Soweto is becoming more like any other major city where lesbians and gays can live a life with the protection of big city anonymity.

She tells of a recent night out with friends at an upmarket shebeen in Mapetla.

Some of the woman, overseas guests here for the ILGA Conference, were being openly affectionate. Zodwa got nervous because there were lots of men around. To her surprise a man came over and said: "O I can see you are all gay. It's good to have gay people around". It's good for business as well". Aware of the irony of this, she is still pleased to find more acceptance on her home turf.

Working in the cultural world has made it easier for Zodwa to be out, not only at home, but also in the work-place. Motivated by the personal need to have a pleasant working environment she went straight to the top. She came out to her boss, the Director of Windybrow, and to any other staff members she knew she would be having a long term working relationship with. Fortunately the Director, about whom she was a bit nervous, was understanding. "He actually assured me that if I experienced any discriminatory problems I must feel free to approach him".

Among the few negative reactions she experiences is a perception in the industry that she has become aware of. Some of her work, in labour relations and legal actions, involves dismissals. "If I fire someone, for example, the assumption is "that lesbian bitch". It is assumed that because I'm lesbian I am hard or whatever. Not that I'm just making the best decision in the situation". Her attitude to these reactions is shaped by the ease she feels with herself. "It's their problem. I don't have to deal with it".

Zodwa's future aspirations are more spiritual than material. "I want to be able to have an impact on people lives. Obviously for the better. I believe I always meet teachers in my life and I am always a student, some times I am a teacher without knowing it. And that's great".

an Electronic Mail & Guardian publication

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