T

he idea behind Pride eludes me. The notion that a divided 'community' such as South African gay women and men can, in one day, put aside their obvious differences all In the Name Of Love baffles me.

Where you might very well come across quite a few lesbians and gay men praising this year's Pride festivities, this is why I consider the event a farce: Whereas last year's Pride March had as it's main focus the Human Rights aspect of what Pride should be, this year seemed intent on generating - and squandering - cash. Take for example the legal wrangle with super-club Stardust over the use of the words 'Pride' and 'After-Party'. This kind of triviality should be dismissed by all in the queer media - and indeed anyone who has any concern for the validity of future Pride events as trite - a serious waste of money.

Yet, when approached as to why the Pride committee had nothing in the way of outreach programmes - a major emphasis of last year's committee - Pride co-chair Ashe Thaver claimed there was simply no money for such exercises. Surely, one would think, if there was money to be spent on an after-party 'detail' there would also be money to be spent on a priority such as an outreach programme. The exclusion of an outreach programme this year meant an immediate exclusion of a large sector of our gay 'community' - working class, rural black men and women. The rather middle-class sensibility espoused by the Pride Committee seems like a slap in the face of those who probably have had more struggle in their lives and as a result probably feeling a stronger sense of pride.

The [little] representation of Pride in the media running up to the march was also a bit dubious. One article in SA City Life made not one reference to lesbian attendance. Could this be seen as confirmation of the rumours about the misogynist attitudes held by certain Pride Committee members?

The gross inefficiency of event organisers, Silver Lining will probably also go uncriticised in queer media. It was 'Lovely' wasn't it? The struggles; the last minute negotiations when everybody woke up and smelled the incompetence; the very visible lack of any black space - both at the March and After-Party; the all too obvious lack of advertising; not to mention the in-fighting.

Self-congratulatory attitudes displayed by both organisers and those attending the march should also be put into question. The overly politically correct speech made at the march by Thaver left a bitter after taste in the mouths of a few who derided his cliche ridden attempt at instilling, within those present, a sense of 'Pride'.

What I would like to ask these self-appointed shepherds is: how does marching within the safety of thousands of people and behind feather boa-lined psuedo-political bravado constitute Pride? Though it must be stated that there are, and always will be, those who have a genuine sense of pride within themselves and these are the ones who should carry the Pride torch.

Pride, the concept, should not be reduced to a word on cheap flyers and ugly posters. It should live and breath as those who hold it dear do. We seem to have forgotten in our spit-braai revelry and Castle-fuelled intoxication how hard it must have been for those few who, eleven years ago, took to the streets - some donning the now seemingly ridiculous brown paper bag - to march outside the safety of thousands of others.

What a strong statement that seems now. Those few people facing fear head-on. Vulnerable. This stays truer to the original concept of Pride. Pride is walking the streets as an openly gay woman or man. Never claiming to be anything other than. A firm belief in oneself. An unwillingness to engage in the slanderous speech we so often engage in.

I do not feel any sense of pride when I see drag queens ridiculed by beefcakes. Or when I see butch lesbians push effete gay men out the way in a silly attempt at 'getting back'. Or when I see one of the now commonplace Dykes on Bikes proudly donning swastikas on a tired denim jacket. Or when someone whispers: "Our queer nation seems very white today." Or when four lesbians get raped on their way home from Pride. Or when an artist like Steven Cohen is labelled Satanic.

It will take a long time until the South African gay woman and man grows to appreciate themselves and, as a result, others. We cannot expect an event to give us what should be earned, worked on and nurtured. To not participate in Prides of the future would be difficult as there are those who have shaped it and continue to shape it and it is because of these people that we continue to march. Not for profit. Or wigs. Or platform shoes. Or sex drives. No reason other than people.