Warren J. Blumenfeld takes a look at internalised homophobia. Part I of a six-part series.

dolescence is usually an exciting though conflicting stage of enormous change in a person's life. Though not a particularly easy period for most young people, for heterosexual adolescents, social and educational structures are in place to support their emerging sexual identity formation.

Through the process of socialization, their feelings are validated and mirrored by their peers, by supportive adult role models, through course materials and class discussions, and by positive portrayals in the media.

School and home environments (primary places of socialization) permit them the opportunity to openly explore and rehearse behaviors necessary for the development of interpersonal skills and formation of their sexual identities.

The situation is often quite different for young people experiencing same-sex attractions. Though the origins of sexual orientation are not completely understood, orientation is generally believed to be established during early childhood, probably before the age of five (Bidwell, 1988).

Though some young people do come to terms fairly early with their lesbian, gay, or bisexual orientation and have little difficulty gaining the support they need, with the enormous peer pressure to conform to a heterosexual standard, coupled with the social stigma surrounding homosexuality/bisexuality, and lack of support systems in many quarters, many young people turn inward.

Seeing and hearing demeaning stereotypes and myths about homosexuals and bisexuals, derogatory epithets from peers and family members, negative and misleading media portrayals, little information presented in the schools -- or often worse yet, absolutely nothing at all -- their initial sense of being somehow different often turns into either self-denial or these feelings or self-hatred, resulting in isolation and withdrawal in order to keep their "hidden shame" a secret from everyone.

Young people who are merely perceived as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (GLBT) as well as those who are actually "out," are often the target of verbal or physical abuse from peers and even family members.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice: "The most frequent victims of hate violence today are blacks, Hispanics, Southeast Asians, Jews, and gays and lesbians. Homosexuals are probably the most frequent victims" (Finn and McNeil, 1987).

A national Gay and Lesbian Task Force survey of over two thousand gay and lesbian people found that ninety percent have experienced some form of victimization on account of their perceived or actual sexual orientation. More than one in ten has been threatened directly with violence. Victimization was reported to have occurred at home, in schools, and at other community sites (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 1984).

Forty-five percent of the males and twenty-five percent of the females have been harassed or attacked in high school or junior high school because they were perceived as lesbian or gay. Approximately thirty-three percent of the two thousand respondents were assaulted verbally, while more than one in fifteen were physically abused by members of their own family. These figures were substantially higher for young people who are open about their sexual orientation while still living at home.

Randy Driscoll, a senior at Wareham High School in Massachusetts, knew he was gay when he entered high school. Though he kept his feelings tightly wrapped inside, he was often the target of attack. "Freshman year of high school is already hard enough," he said, "but the big seniors pushing you around because the rumor is you're the 'faggot' made it ten times worse....I was spit on, pushed, and ridiculed. My school life was hell" (Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, 1992).

Thus, the vicious cycle begins. With the abuse often comes poor self-esteem and fear. Hearing and seeing negative depictions of homosexuality and bisexuality often lead young (as well as older) gay, lesbian, and bisexual people to "internalize" these negative notions.

This internalization, created by oppression from the outside, plays itself out where it has seemed "safe" to do so in two primary places: 1. On members of their own group; and 2. Upon themselves. I have compiled a list of some of the forms this internalization of society's negative notions of homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgenderism takes:

1. Denial of one's sexual orientation (one's sexual and emotional attractions to oneself and others.
2. Attempts to alter or change one's sexual orientation.
3. Feeling one is never "good enough" (sometimes a tendency toward "perfectionism").
4. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviors.
5. Under-achievement; or Over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.
6. Delayed or retarded emotional and/or cognitive development.
7. Low Self-Esteem, low body image.
8. Contempt for the more "open" or "obvious" members of the LGBT community.
9. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the "coming-out process." (The "queerer than thou" attitude.)
10. Denial that homophobia/heterosexism/biphobia/sexism are, in fact, serious social problems.
11. Contempt for those who are not just like ourselves; and/or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. (Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviors -- ridicule, harassment, attack on ohter GLB people.)
12. Projection of prejudice onto another target group (reinforced by society's existing prejudices).
13. Becoming psychologically and/or physically abusive; or remaining in an abusive relationship.
14. Attempts to "pass" as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval, or in hopes of being "cured."
15. Increased fear and withdrawal from friends and relative.
16. Shame and/or depression; Defensiveness; Anger and/or bitterness.
17. School truancy and/or dropping out of school. (An estimated twenty-eight percent of gay and lesbian youth drop out of school because of discomfort in the school environment [U.S. Department of H.H.S., 1989]). Also, workplace absenteeism/reduced productivity.
18. Continual self-monitoring of one's behaviors, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.
19. "Minstrelizing" or clowning as a way of acting out society's negative stereotypes.
20. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders. ("Eating One's Own.")
21. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being considered a "pederast."
22. Conflicts with the law.
23. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviors -- including risks for pregnancy and HIV infection.
24. Separating sex and love, and/or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive and/or celibacy.
25. Substance abuse -- including food, alcohol, drugs, and others. (One study found that fifty-eight percent of young gay males interviewed could be classified as having a substance abuse disorder as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual III. [Ziebold, 1979])
26. Suicidal ideation, attempts, completion.

Continued next week ...

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